Un-Done Things
Un-Done Things
Seeking Comfort in Closure
The un-done things of life include two distinct categories: Things never started and yet to be done, and things started that can’t seem to get done. If you ponder this for a second, you’ll understand what I mean. The first one includes everything on our bucket list: the places to visit, the sights to see, the people to meet, the concerts to attend, and the ever-present improved health through exercise. These are on our list of intentions, resolutions and honey do’s. These all have a good chance of happening and some will join the second list.
The second list of un-done things in life includes all of those projects we started that never got completed – they’re just not done, over, ended, terminated, transformed or finished. It includes the promises we made and failed to deliver on. It includes the relationships that are left unresolved, and it includes any memory that continues to surface that generates a “woulda, coulda shoulda” response. This second list desperately seeks closure, especially when it’s a memory that needs to rest.
Closure is defined as the act of closing, bringing to an end, conclusion. Closure can signify celebration. When we have achieved and have completed the task and arrived at our intended destination, that’s closure. When the whole story is finally told and a dark memory is allowed to subside, that’s closure. To be able to set aside the “what ifs” and accept “what is” is closure. Closure closes doors so others may be open. Closure is the friend of the open minded and its cousin completeness. Closure is required to learn and to grow.
Whatever our un-done list may look like, it is exclusively our list. We alone get to manage, modify, and manipulate what gets done and what doesn’t. When we feel the need for closure, it’s important that we act, because when we do reach closure, it can generate a calmness and peace – a sense of completeness like nothing else. And from there, anything is possible.
Szenippet: Feeling a need for closure is normal. Actually achieving closure is complicated. And life without closure can be chaotic. So, when that one unresolved thought pokes at our psyche, let it go and move on. We need the room to grow.