Can you hear me now?

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Can You Hear Me Now?

A Sixty-Word Short Story*:

Veronica had studied speech in college. She learned the proper way to enunciate and project so that the message was clear and strong. She acquired a vocabulary that was exceptional and often fraught with obscure idioms and colorful metaphors. She was a student of communications and loved to engage in spirited conversations. There was only one problem: She never listened.

And more…

I like a good conversation and am lucky to have wonderful friends, students and colleagues that I can talk with. We learn so much when we hear the voice of another and not only the words, but the sounds that we use to express ourselves. It’s not only the vocabulary and subject matter, but the energy in the voice – the pauses, the breath, the tone and the projection that can be very telling about a person. And as with Veronica in our story, it can be quite impressive but it’s only one way. And for most humans, and the folks that I enjoy talking with, the most important component for good communications lies in the art of listening.

Listening is important in one-to-one conversations as well as in public speaking. A good public speaker and presenter searches her audience for signs of both engagement and detachment. Easily 70 percent of all communications is non-verbal, and so listening is not just about hearing, it’s about recognizing body language, eye contact and facial expressions and being able to translate what we see, hear and feel into a viable understanding and appreciation that communication is actually taking place. When we’re doing this right and our antenna is up, we’re able to create strong connections. When we don’t, not so much.

Humans possess a whole repertoire of communication skills and sadly we only use very few. This is especially true in the text heavy, social media world we live in where emojis replace sentences and “ghosting” is a real thing. Today there is so much information heading our way that we’re tempted to either simply ignore it or only limit ourselves to streams of data that only support what we already believe. Hence, rabbit holes, misinformation traps, and random offers too good to be true suck us into their web. And there we sit, unaware of what the truth really is, until we sink amidst the weight of it all.

I know this all sounds dire and it is. And I’m guessing that we all know people that have drank some form of Kool-Aid and just can’t be reached anymore. Maybe it’s happened to us. That all said, each of us is unique and we all possess the power to turn off the noise, or at the very least, we can open our minds to other possibilities. Once we begin to really listen and pay attention to what’s being served up to us every waking second, we can begin to be smarter about what we really know and hold to be true. It’s then and only then where the one voice that truly matters – our own inner voice – can be heard loud and clear.

Final Thought: The art of listening requires that we be truly engaged, open minded and in touch with our own inner self. The trifecta of understanding.  

* The Premise: Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit my blog at www.szenzone.com

In Stall Mode

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 In Stall Mode

Life is not linear by nature, it is more holistic and tends to let us have contact with multiple aspects of time and space and other pieces of the world simultaneously, meaning that we really are never untouched by the moves and motions of all of those around us. We are connected and we can create and cause events and outcomes to happen and just as surely events and outcomes will happen to us.

What about the non-events? You know those things that were supposed to happen, that we need to happen and if they don’t happen, nothing else can happen kinds of things.  It’s the stuff that is required before we can make a move or a plan or any change in our life. It’s the “once I get my new raise, I’ll be able to buy that _____(fill in the blank).” It’s the “I can’t commit to that plan until he/she approves the budget.” It’s the wedding date never gets set until “we’re really financially ready.” Non-events are self-imposed obstacles masked as milestones and they are as common to human nature as the cold.

Non-events stop events; that’s their power. When we think in linear terms as in this will net this, which begets that which creates whatever etc.  we easily end up in a stall position because some link in the equation isn’t ready or able to happen just yet. And thus we wait. In a stall mode we give up control and lose precious time and if we’re not vigilant, we’ll miss opportunities for something different or even better than what we originally wanted in the first place. Being stalled is the worse kind of ennui. It is the nothingness and nether world of dreams on hold.

Feeling stalled? Here are some ideas to get moving again:

– Examine the plan. Are all of the links in the chain really necessary? Is there a way to eliminate one step and can we get there another way? By questioning our path, we may begin to find a better way.

– Set the timer. Whatever we are waiting for should have a deadline. If we rethink the time we need, our impatience may help accelerate the process.

– Think like a dreamer. Rather than laying out a methodical approach, ask ourselves if we had a magic wand, what would we want to happen. Sometimes this is where a dream can truly be ignited because we shift our focus from the process to the goal.

Remember that the shortest distance to reaching our dream may not be a straight line. We may have to tack our way there. Smooth sailing…

Imperfection

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Imperfection

A Universal Human Reality

“There was the cat, asleep. The man thought as he smoothed the cat’s black coat, that this contact was an illusion and that the two beings, man and cat, were as good as separated by a glass, for man lives in time, in succession, while the magical animal lives in the present, in the eternity of the instant.” This is a quote from Argentine writer and philosopher Jorge Luis Borges. I found it in the New York Times best-selling book I just finished called Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. I placed it here as a reminder that most non-human animals live only here and now and us humans, although we get to accomplish and experience way more than cats, also face each moment as a series of choices and rarely stop to just simply be.

In a perfect world, we can do and be anything we choose, and the journey is easy peasy. Unfortunately, the world is not perfect and by association neither are we. Being human means we believe that we can string moments together to achieve a perfect and happy ending, yet we often fail because by striving for perfection we fail to accept what we truly are – imperfect. And being imperfect means we sometimes make poor choices and choices are what determines who and where we are. Burkeman writes that whatever those choices have been they have led us to our current place and situation. And if we find ourselves not exactly where we wanted to be, it’s only because of our humanness.

Here’s the good news. Being human, we have the power to change. And the next choice we make can take us to a new reality. The key is that we have to accept the current reality of who and where we are – shaped by everything that came before this moment – before we can create a new dream. By recognizing what’s real and including it in our choice making, we can actually move toward better decisions and outcomes. Accepting that imperfection is a way of life sets us free to enjoy the life we have right now in front of us. In other words, acceptance can offset a fixed mindset which enables us to rejoice in the simple truth that every moment is its own reward; Take a breath, and breath it in.

For more stories like this and other books, visit my blog at www.szenzone.com