Connecting the Dots
A note from Gary…Thanks for the response from last week’s edition on Self-Awareness. It reminded me of an excerpt from a while ago. Here it is again with some updates…
I’ve recently picked up the pace a bit on a book I’ve been working on. The working title is PowerShift – How to take your brand to the next level. By brand I mean both businesses and individuals because the principles apply to both. Essentially it contains the elements of the tools I’ve used for years helping my clients navigate change. In book form though, it’s a bit daunting because it requires a more definitive and factual context than the case studies, or actual client situations that I typically use. As a starting point we begin with the premise that one’s vision is the driver and must be supported. This requires buy-in from the team, be it the organization, or your family or spouse. To that end, I’ve been doing some analysis and research on the role of perspective and change in moving forward and I quickly found how critical perception and point of view is, not only to success but happiness as well. I’d like to share a few things I’ve discovered just recently. And when I say discovered, I mean hit me between the eyes.
The sources are many and are listed throughout. I’ll start with a test designed to get to know oneself better- The Myers- Briggs personality test. It provides a good starting point for what’s included here. You can take a free test here https://www.16personalities.com/ I’m an ENFJ FYI. The key insight here is knowing who we are is necessary before we begin any journey of enlightenment.
To keep this simple, I’ll be paraphrasing and quoting, and I’ll provide what I think are the key insights needed to help us grow our own brand and enrich our lives. They are listed in the order of discovery (which is still ongoing) not necessarily the value, but as my mentor and good friend Jerry Walters says, “Nothing is in Isolation.” Here goes:
From Manifesting Change by Mike Dooley: “Rarely are the first steps in a journey anything like the final ones, either in direction, pace or grace. So please believe me when I tell you that none of those things, are even half as important as the fact that there are steps at all.” If we have a vision and move toward it, it will also move toward us, but we have to move, not just dream.
Don’t make assumptions. In business we call it due diligence, but as individuals we often don’t take the time to get it right. This led me to question myself on what things I may have been misreading or assuming in my own life. This led me to the 5 Love Languages (there are free ways to take the test online). It ranks five qualities that are important in relationship. However that does not insure that what is important to us is perceived or received. And if we assume they need what we need and visa versa we miss opportunities to create happiness, yes create. From the How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky: “I prefer the phrase creation or construction of happiness to the more popular pursuit since research shows it’s in our power to fashion it for ourselves.” The insight here is that the research is enormous and has been for years on the positive psychology front. Happiness has been proven to precede success, not the other way around. This means that our brand needs to emerge from an inner state of bliss and the way to get there is to better understand who we really are and what we want.
“Great minds have purpose, others have wishes.” Washington Irving. William Bridges wrote a best seller entitled Managing Transitions. He discusses how leaders need to understand change before they can enact it, and even with understanding what it will take to move forward. Time also becomes a primary component. There is an old saying: “It takes nine months to have a baby no matter how many people you put on the job”. The point here is to stay the course and keep the faith.
The role of personality and mindset has a great deal to do with taking our brand to the next level. Understanding ourselves and why we do what we do is the lynchpin for achieving next level status. A great 18-minute video from the author of Start with Why, Simon Sinek can be found on the Internet. I’ve used this in my classes, it’s a classic. https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action
Keeping to the topic of personality, understanding our own why within, Harvard Researcher and author Shawn Achor in his book The Happiness Advantage introduced me to the concept of “signature strengths.” By practicing, in essence, what makes us tick we can achieve higher levels of happiness, which influence our relationships and performance. Go to https://www.viacharacter.org/
The Pygmalion Effect is discussed in Shawn’ book as well. We’ve all heard of research where a child with average intelligence is told that they have exceptional gifts and talent and they end up excelling in school. But did you know it works another way? Researchers told teachers in various classrooms that certain students had been identified as academic superstars; the students were not told. They asked the teachers to not show any favoritism or mention this to the students and that they would be monitored to make sure they did not. Sure enough at the end of the year these same students posted off-the-chart intellectual ability. The students however were really quite ordinary and picked randomly. Turns out that the teachers’ belief in their potential had been non-verbally and unwittingly communicated to the students who absorbed it and translated it to reality.
People act as we expect them to act, be it children, co-workers or spouses. It’s a shining example of the self-fulfilling prophecy – “Science has shown that when we believe we can do more (or when others believe it for us), that is often the precise reason we do achieve more.”
There’s more to come on this subject of going to the next level, but for now remember the keys to positive change: Focus and move toward the vision, don’t assume, search for tools that can help in your pursuit (from market research to love’s languages), recruit fellow believers, create happiness now, stay positive, and enjoy a nice glass of wine every now and then.
Make haste! Your future awaits!
The Final Thought: How we perceive others changes them too. If we’re supportive they’ll feel enabled. If we doubt them, they’ll doubt themselves. One is a reflection of the other and therein lies the power of self-fulfilling prophecy.
