by: Gary Szenderski Luck of the Roll My New York Adventure Part 2 Recap: On my very first trip to New York via Philadelphia, I had hitchhiked and arrived with very little money, no clue of the culture and after one night staying at the YMCA realized something about New York that I would carry […]
by: Gary Szenderski
From the Book of Szen
When Things Go Bad
“So, I’m down and so I’m out but so are many others. So I feel like trying to hide my head ‘neath these covers.” *
Sometimes things come at us and we feel helpless and simply want to hide. We wonder what we did to deserve the bad times and how in the world we will survive. It’s just one thing after another in waves of disappointment and fear and even the strongest of us lose faith. And of course, when we lose faith, we lose everything.
For example… a father was taking his two young girls to school. He had to stop on the way to buy some gas. He looked in his wallet and saw seven dollars – five and two ones. The ones would go to his daughters for lunch, and his last five dollars would go into the tank. As he watched the gas pump counting out the last pennies he possessed, he looked at the car he was driving (a very old Oldsmobile with no air conditioning, power steering or radio and bald tires to boot) and wondered how in the world he would be able to take care of his children. Business was horrible and the rent was late. The click of the pump brought him back to the present and he had to hurry to get the kids to school on time. He jumped into the car and sped off, but he had neglected to take the hose out of the gas tank and pulled it right out of the pump, dragging it behind the car as a metaphor for his own personal nadir. He wanted to cry…
“But I’ll keep my head up high although I’m kind of tired. My gal just up and left last week, and Friday I got fired. I know it’s kind of funny, but things can’t get worse than now.” *
Bad things can happen to good people. Negative things can happen to positive people. And unexpected things can happen to people that plan. Such is life and often the yin and yang of our existence treat and exposes all of us to situations that beat us up, bring us down and zap all remnants of positive energy right out of our psyche. How we react in these situations determines to what extent we can be controlled by what’s going on “outside” versus what we know to be true about ourselves on the “inside.” We could lose money, love, and people in our lives and begin to feel that somehow, we deserve the bad luck and that it’s entirely our fault. We also know the pain of not being able to help someone we care about navigate through difficult times, perhaps we even have first-hand experience: Be it divorce, family death, illness, job loss or whatever, it often feels like the pain, stress and sorrow will never end.
However, even though we may slip into an ennui of pity and desperation, we can’t forget that the engine inside of us is still beating with a force of will that is legendary. The same willpower that creates heroes from POW’s and inspiration from darkness works inside each of us to bring us through the challenges we face. An inner sanctum of positive power is available to help us succeed in the midst of defeat and thrive amongst the barren landscapes we sometimes face. Not my law; God’s law.
I’ve been told and I believe that life is meant for living and even when my chips are low, there’s still some left for giving.” *
In the face of a mental, physical, financial or emotional meltdown, here are two things to remember:
1. You are not alone. You may feel like you want to be alone or maybe that no one understands or cares, but that is shortsighted and just plain poor thinking. There are people in your life that care and can help, even if it’s just listening to your plight. Invite them into a dialog with your inner and truer self and you’ll be surprised at the positive outcomes you can create.
2. Seriously, you are not alone. ‘Nuff said.
* Lyrics from the song entitled “Cycles” performed by Frank Sinatra.
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The Final Thought: If any of you are reading this, feeling like you’re on an island and want to talk, please respond to this email and we’ll have a chat. I’m all ears.
by: Gary Szenderski
From the Book of Szen
Trick Ending
Years ago, before marriage and children, I had the opportunity to plan my own vacations. For me, going someplace nice was typically the most expensive thing I would do during the year. And so, as my income grew I tended to go farther and farther from home, and until I moved to California my starting point was Toledo Ohio.
One thing about vacations is that it assumes one is making money at a job and has to come back to work in a specified amount of time. During the years when I was only working part time, going to school, vacation trips I could afford tended to be close and reachable by car. And in that part of the country there were lots of options depending on the time of year. Winter vacations were most often in Vermont, Blue Mountain in Canada or upstate New York for the ski season. Summertime respites included trips to Montreal or Toronto, Chicago, New York, and Washington D.C. I later discovered the beauty of flying stand-by. Toledo to Chicago was $13 and New York was $21 one way.
My first real expensive get-a-way experience was to the island of Martinique. It’s located in the French West Indies less than 100 miles off the coast of Venezuela. A friend of mine suggested the trip because there was a Club Med located on the island. He sold me on the benefits of the Club Med – one price for everything – concept, the warm climate and of course the women. So, in the middle of a dark and gloomy Ohio December we flew Air France from New York to a French island and gathering spot for those getting away from the cold Northern United States. The vacation, or should I say party, started on the plane. Once there, the party continued but with demonstrably less clothing. A bathing suit was all you needed.
There were lots of activities to enjoy and after perusing the list of options, I opted for water skiing because I had never done it before and figured that it would be a nice opening line when I got back – Hey, I just got back from a ski trip.
I guess a lot of other people had the same idea. When I got to the docks, there was a line of water-skiing enthusiasts waiting for one of the three speed boats that would whisk us onto the surface of the Caribbean Sea. The instructors were French speaking but one could easily follow the grunts and hand signals. As I watched people get up and go, I noticed a lot of posturing. The guys were showing off, and the women were pretending not to notice. As each boat returned, I observed that the skier would simply let go of the rope and slowly sink into the warm buoyant water.
My attempt at being cool lasted only a quick second after I jumped into the water. I floundered trying to get my skis up and straight while holding the rope. The instructor kept on signaling for me to lean back farther and get more of my weight to my backside so I would not just flip forward and be dragged headfirst out to sea. I finally got it and got up the first time.
It felt great but after the third crash and burn my arms felt like they had been pulled out of their sockets and then imperfectly screwed back in like a jar whose lid isn’t quite straight and tight. As we made our approach to the dock, I made a valiant attempt to at least look like I knew what I was doing and tried to calculate my landing to emulate the softly sinking style I’d seen earlier. At the perfect moment right in front of everyone I let go.
Imagine a cartwheel on water. Three complete revolutions abruptly stopped by the dock itself. As I sunk beneath the dock, embarrassed and groggy I felt a funny stinging sensation. A jellyfish had attached itself to my leg. They carried me from the dock to the Doc.
That night at dinner I enjoyed my newfound notoriety. Word had spread about the guy that had crashed into the dock and caught a jellyfish with his leg while submerged with one ski on. Most people were sympathetic except for the driver of the boat that wanted to know what happened to the other ski.
Gary
From the Book of Szen