Trick Ending

by: Gary Szenderski

From the Book of Szen

Trick Ending

Years ago, before marriage and children, I had the opportunity to plan my own vacations. For me, going someplace nice was typically the most expensive thing I would do during the year. And so, as my income grew I tended to go farther and farther from home, and until I moved to California my starting point was Toledo Ohio.

One thing about vacations is that it assumes one is making money at a job and has to come back to work in a specified amount of time. During the years when I was only working part time, going to school, vacation trips I could afford tended to be close and reachable by car. And in that part of the country there were lots of options depending on the time of year. Winter vacations were most often in Vermont, Blue Mountain in Canada or upstate New York for the ski season. Summertime respites included trips to Montreal or Toronto, Chicago, New York, and Washington D.C.  I later discovered the beauty of flying stand-by. Toledo to Chicago was $13 and New York was $21 one way.

My first real expensive get-a-way experience was to the island of Martinique. It’s located in the French West Indies less than 100 miles off the coast of Venezuela. A friend of mine suggested the trip because there was a Club Med located on the island. He sold me on the benefits of the Club Med – one price for everything – concept, the warm climate and of course the women. So, in the middle of a dark and gloomy Ohio December we flew Air France from New York to a French island and gathering spot for those getting away from the cold Northern United States. The vacation, or should I say party, started on the plane.  Once there, the party continued but with demonstrably less clothing. A bathing suit was all you needed.

There were lots of activities to enjoy and after perusing the list of options, I opted for water skiing because I had never done it before and figured that it would be a nice opening line when I got back – Hey, I just got back from a ski trip.

I guess a lot of other people had the same idea. When I got to the docks, there was a line of water-skiing enthusiasts waiting for one of the three speed boats that would whisk us onto the surface of the Caribbean Sea. The instructors were French speaking but one could easily follow the grunts and hand signals. As I watched people get up and go, I noticed a lot of posturing. The guys were showing off, and the women were pretending not to notice. As each boat returned, I observed that the skier would simply let go of the rope and slowly sink into the warm buoyant water. 

My attempt at being cool lasted only a quick second after I jumped into the water. I floundered trying to get my skis up and straight while holding the rope. The instructor kept on signaling for me to lean back farther and get more of my weight to my backside so I would not just flip forward and be dragged headfirst out to sea. I finally got it and got up the first time.

It felt great but after the third crash and burn my arms felt like they had been pulled out of their sockets and then imperfectly screwed back in like a jar whose lid isn’t quite straight and tight. As we made our approach to the dock, I made a valiant attempt to at least look like I knew what I was doing and tried to calculate my landing to emulate the softly sinking style I’d seen earlier. At the perfect moment right in front of everyone I let go.

Imagine a cartwheel on water. Three complete revolutions abruptly stopped by the dock itself. As I sunk beneath the dock, embarrassed and groggy I felt a funny stinging sensation. A jellyfish had attached itself to my leg. They carried me from the dock to the Doc.

That night at dinner I enjoyed my newfound notoriety. Word had spread about the guy that had crashed into the dock and caught a jellyfish with his leg while submerged with one ski on. Most people were sympathetic except for the driver of the boat that wanted to know what happened to the other ski.

Gary

From the Book of Szen