When Things Go Bad
by: Gary Szenderski
From the Book of Szen
When Things Go Bad
“So, I’m down and so I’m out but so are many others. So I feel like trying to hide my head ‘neath these covers.” *
Sometimes things come at us and we feel helpless and simply want to hide. We wonder what we did to deserve the bad times and how in the world we will survive. It’s just one thing after another in waves of disappointment and fear and even the strongest of us lose faith. And of course, when we lose faith, we lose everything.
For example… a father was taking his two young girls to school. He had to stop on the way to buy some gas. He looked in his wallet and saw seven dollars – five and two ones. The ones would go to his daughters for lunch, and his last five dollars would go into the tank. As he watched the gas pump counting out the last pennies he possessed, he looked at the car he was driving (a very old Oldsmobile with no air conditioning, power steering or radio and bald tires to boot) and wondered how in the world he would be able to take care of his children. Business was horrible and the rent was late. The click of the pump brought him back to the present and he had to hurry to get the kids to school on time. He jumped into the car and sped off, but he had neglected to take the hose out of the gas tank and pulled it right out of the pump, dragging it behind the car as a metaphor for his own personal nadir. He wanted to cry…
“But I’ll keep my head up high although I’m kind of tired. My gal just up and left last week, and Friday I got fired. I know it’s kind of funny, but things can’t get worse than now.” *
Bad things can happen to good people. Negative things can happen to positive people. And unexpected things can happen to people that plan. Such is life and often the yin and yang of our existence treat and exposes all of us to situations that beat us up, bring us down and zap all remnants of positive energy right out of our psyche. How we react in these situations determines to what extent we can be controlled by what’s going on “outside” versus what we know to be true about ourselves on the “inside.” We could lose money, love, and people in our lives and begin to feel that somehow, we deserve the bad luck and that it’s entirely our fault. We also know the pain of not being able to help someone we care about navigate through difficult times, perhaps we even have first-hand experience: Be it divorce, family death, illness, job loss or whatever, it often feels like the pain, stress and sorrow will never end.
However, even though we may slip into an ennui of pity and desperation, we can’t forget that the engine inside of us is still beating with a force of will that is legendary. The same willpower that creates heroes from POW’s and inspiration from darkness works inside each of us to bring us through the challenges we face. An inner sanctum of positive power is available to help us succeed in the midst of defeat and thrive amongst the barren landscapes we sometimes face. Not my law; God’s law.
I’ve been told and I believe that life is meant for living and even when my chips are low, there’s still some left for giving.” *
In the face of a mental, physical, financial or emotional meltdown, here are two things to remember:
1. You are not alone. You may feel like you want to be alone or maybe that no one understands or cares, but that is shortsighted and just plain poor thinking. There are people in your life that care and can help, even if it’s just listening to your plight. Invite them into a dialog with your inner and truer self and you’ll be surprised at the positive outcomes you can create.
2. Seriously, you are not alone. ‘Nuff said.
* Lyrics from the song entitled “Cycles” performed by Frank Sinatra.
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The Final Thought: If any of you are reading this, feeling like you’re on an island and want to talk, please respond to this email and we’ll have a chat. I’m all ears.