Going With the Flow

Going With the Flow

Sailing on the Waves of Life

It’s Thursday, January 23, 2025, a day at sea, and I am writing this while on a cruise amongst the islands that populate the Bahamas, because we never know when an “ah-ha” moment will occur, and I just had one. I am reading a book by Oliver Burkeman entitled Meditation for Mortals, a book about embracing our limitations and making time for what counts. In the book he quotes Ann Patchett who shared a perspective which I’ve paraphrased many times, but didn’t know the source. She says: “It helps when you can realize that this part of life, when you don’t know what’s coming, is often the part that people look back on with the greatest affection.” The truth is we can’t know for sure how reality will unfold and even though we think we have things under control, we don’t. This fact is essential to enjoying life and the foundation for the open-ended philosophy of “going with the flow.” The lesson being that getting what we desire usually doesn’t happen the way we think it should. Seems that the universe has its own way of making dreams come true. I learned this axiom from someone who taught me that control is an illusion; unfortunately, I leaned it too late to keep her as a friend, which is a story for another time.

The metaphor I use with clients and students on this topic is that control is like grasping an ice cube. You think you have it, but the more you squeeze it, the faster it melts away. And when it does, there is no way to salvage its previous form. I think most of us have experienced some aspect of life where love or fame or riches or whatever is within our reach but not in our grasp. Those moments can be life changing and very often worth talking about. That is what my ah-ha moment has been today. To quote an adage of uncertain origin, almost everything that happens is either a good time or a good story and this trip is turning out to be both.

Szenippet: Going with the flow, letting go of our need to control, allows for infinite possibilities, both good and bad. Either something magical happens or at worst we’ve got a new story to share. And strangely enough, by sharing our stories we often create the magic we seek.

Making Magic

Magic Making

Abracadabra

This is the time of the year when we list all of the things we resolve to change or do or create for ourselves. Then we get a magic wand (any brand will do) and wave it appropriately with our own special magic mantra and voila we’ve changed. We could perform this over and over as many of us do, until we almost believe that it will happen. So why don’t those things, that we so desperately want never arrive? I mean I really could lose the extra weight, get more sleep, read more, exercise etc. – All good stuff and for some reason they just don’t happen. The answer is that we’re not waving the magic wand right. It’s very clearly stated in the instruction manual that we must have faith and believe in our self in order to create what we seek.

Nothing happens until we see it in our mind first. That vision is a goalpost and sets the direction of our actions. And it’s those pesky actions that actually do all the work. Action creates energy and acts like a magnate for that which we desire. Even if we take itsy bitsy baby steps toward reaching our goals, we will feel the draw and soon, what we seek, will begin to move toward us. It’s a win win scenario, and all it takes is action. Not ordinary action like going through the motions, but real actions that we believe will bring our dream to life. Belief is the fuel that makes the action work, and it is embedded in each of us. It’s the creation tool that comes with us when we’re born, and we learn how it works through practice.

If you watch a baby or toddler build something or playing intently, you’re witnessing their practice time for building up their belief muscle. If they can see it, they can do it, or at least they will try. Of course, they get frustrated but that doesn’t stop the effort or the action. I like to believe that we still have that power, and it just needs to be energized with a new vision, destination, or resolution that through faith we can bring to life.

So, before you throw out the magic wand, try it again and this time try it with the faith that whatever you seek will manifest and proceed from there. Faith lessens the strain of work, and it builds confidence. It’s the human secret sauce for living the life of our dreams. Abracadabra. Poof! We’re almost there.

Szenippet: Anything we want, we see first in our mind. That mental picture represents the finished product, like we might see on the outside of a box of a do-it-yourself project. The instructions are inside and even though they may seem daunting we know we can make it happen.