Archive for category: Positive Change

What If?

A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

“There is this event coming up soon”, she started, “actually it’s upon us, and I was wondering if maybe, you would like ummm, well I mean…, if I were to ask you, hypothetically speaking, to go with me to this event, what would you say?” “Yes of course.” I replied. “Hey not so fast!” She blurted. “Nobody’s asked you yet.”

And more…

Wouldn’t it be nice to know the answer to every question we ask before we ask it?  Isn’t it true that we can find ourselves in situations where the answer we seek will not be found and we become afraid of what the real answer will be? Don’t we sometimes even pass altogether on asking because we can’t bear the possibility of rejection or maybe, like the story above, the possibility of acceptance?

Asking questions is the purest form of being assertive, curious and to some extent fearless. When we confront an issue and rely on another to give us an answer, we take a chance on getting a response we won’t like. And we also close the gaps in communication and replace questions with knowledge. If we don’t ask, we won’t know for sure, and then we’ll be left filling in our own answers that become our default beliefs. If we follow this logically for only a few more consecutive questions, based on our own assumptions, we could easily find ourselves in a communications quagmire – a place of misinformation and speculation.

On the other hand, if we ask clearly, we will know and maybe even receive. It seems so easy, but it can be tough to do, especially when the other person has some authority or power over us, like a parent or a boss. The key is to remind ourselves that we can always make better decisions when we’re dealing with the facts. Knowledge is power and asking directly for what we want, or need will actually put us in the driver’s seat. In assertiveness training, we learn to ask even the hard questions. The more we take responsibility to ask, the easier it gets and the more we learn. It’s simple: If you don’t ask, you won’t know. “When’s that event again?”

Final Thought: “Ask and you shall receive” is always true even if we don’t like what we get.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

 

 

 Creating Wisdom

A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

No one could tell Jonathan anything. He knew it all, and let you know it when he was in your presence. He was always the smartest person in the room; even if we knew he wasn’t, he acted like he was. He was the boss, and he had all of the answers, except when it came to his own feelings.

And more…

Knowledge has quite a bandwidth. There is so much that we can know and categorize and memorize and build upon because, as we learn, we add to our perspective. We merge the new facts with the old and we temper the process with experience, context and intuition. The net result is intellectual growth, and it’s often translated into success based on the formula of the more we know, the more we can achieve.

Emotional growth however is not so simple. Emotions are not easily separated and distinct. Anger, fear, love, greed etc.- all of the primary emotional possibilities exist in partnership with and are intermingled with other emotions as well as facts.  Anger has a reason it appears and so does love, fear and the rest. And unlike intellectual growth, which allows us to build on what we learn, emotional growth can be elusive, and hence there are folks like Jonathan that know it all but somehow don’t “get it.” They seem to lack the emotional empathy needed to grow.

We’re all on a learning curve to somehow create balance between the what’s that we learn and the how it makes us feel when we do. A combination of both helps us translate life’s many challenges so we can understand “why.” Knowing why we are who we are, and do what we do, gives us the emotional leverage we need to truly succeed. Where the smarts meets the heart. That’s where true wisdom forms. And from there the possibilities are endless.

Final Thought: When we meld the facts of our lives with our feelings about those facts we can emerge into a new realm, where perspective, context and insight collectively yield power. It’s called wisdom.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

 

 

Press Pause

A Sixty-Word Short Story*:

Arthur, please don’t call me Art, typically saw the world through a half-empty glass. He had trained himself to believe that most people do not keep their promises and based on the many times he had felt misled, he was angrily responding to a date-cancelling text. Another let down he thought, but intuitively he paused. Then he changed his mind.

And more…

A strategically placed pause in our thinking is like taking a time out in sports during a close game. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath and let some fresh oxygen seep into our brain. For Arthur, in our story, he was able to hit “pause” before he texted something he might regret. Of course we don’t know for sure what happened next for Arthur, but the extra moment and time taken to consider his options gave him a chance to rethink his reaction. And like letting a steak sit after cooking for a few minutes to allow the juices to circulate, I like to believe that he got it right.

In today’s fast moving digital communications world we live in, reaction time has become shortened and squeezed out of the conversation. There is a tendency to respond and clear the inbox immediately and sometimes without a real thought about the repercussions. We communicate in a terse, emoji-based language that masquerades as thoughtful dialogue. Yes, it’s easy and fast to connect with folks but often it can be shallow, misunderstood, or simply wrong, especially if we’re just reacting and not thinking about whether we got it right.

“The Pause that Refreshes” was a theme for a Coca Cola campaign (circa 1929) which ran for 30 years. It was a universal reminder over three decades that we all might find clarity and perspective with a brief break, even if it’s in just a nick of time. By inserting a pause in the communications process before we react, whether we sip a coke or some water or we set aside a decision for a sec, we give ourselves a chance to reboot and refresh our thinking; a chance to get it right.

Final Thought: There is always time to redo something if we get it wrong, but with a simple pause we may just get it right the first time.

* The Premise: Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

                                                                                         Image is Destiny

A Sixty-Word Short Story*:

Jack had walked two players in a row and the league’s number one hitter was at bat. He tried to concentrate on making good pitches without giving him anything to hit. Easy to say, but Jack’s fear was showing – all over his face and in his body language, he appeared defeated. And when he threw the pitch, he was.

And more…

There is a lot going on in today’s story or should I say, back story. Jack had been quite the big-league pitcher and always carried the swagger of a winner. His mental toughness, determination and competitive spirit was his calling card. It’s how he became an ace pitcher and Cy Young award winner. But the years and the losses began to pile up and he effectively lost his edge. It wasn’t like a switch that just went off, it was more like a slow leak where not only his pitching ability became diminished but his mental capacity to project confidence began to fail him too, which as it turns out was the true culprit in his demise.

Whatever we project as our identity can become our reality. When we feel bullish and strong it generates a complimentary reaction from those around us. Conversely, when we appear afraid like Jack we begin to move fast toward that fear until we prove that it’s real. We literally project the outcome we think about. So why don’t we all start thinking about our best possible scenario and let those thoughts lead us to our self-proclaimed destiny? Short answer: I don’t know.

What I do know is that all of us have the power to change our thoughts and hence to change our lives and yet we sometimes neglect to take advantage of this wonderful human characteristic because we secretly don’t think it works or we’re just unwilling or too tired to try. And of course, when unchecked, this doubt eventually can become a deep-seeded belief that limits us from having the life of our dreams. In our story Jack couldn’t muster the internal self-talk to overcome the situation. Had he been able to take a breath and reach down into his own psyche, he may have just as easily found the internal power source needed to hit the switch marked positive outcome and win the game.

Fortunately for the rest of us the game of life provides multiple opportunities to create positive change. The formula is simple. Imagine how we’d look and sound at the moment when our dreams come true. Hold that thought and begin to act as if it’s already happened and keep doing it until it does. What we project reflects who we are and what we believe and when we’re focused on believing in ourself – our dreams – people respond and so does the universe.

Final thought: Whatever we project to be, can be.

* The Premise: Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected] © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly. Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

Mother’s Day – This story has run on Mother’s Day a few times over the last couple of decades, but I love repeating it. If you’re a new reader of the Book of Szen I hope you like it and for those that have seen this story before, you’re seeing it again. Enjoy the day, and for those that are lucky enough to be with their mom, let her be with you too and for all of you mothers reading this, thanks for the love and I pray that your children never waste a drop.

 Moms are Forever

 My mother always encouraged me to do what I love. And the pursuit of that love took me to Los Angeles. The day I left town to make my move west, my last stop was to see mom. It’s hard to even write this because even though mom knew I must leave, she cried, watching through the window of the door, as I walked away to a life that she herself had wanted me to pursue. In honor of that and for all of the moms I know, I’d like to share an excerpt from the Book of Szen. I hope you like it.

Moms are something to behold. They can sense their children without ever actually seeing what the children are “up” to, and let the kids know that she knows, what they wouldn’t want her to know.  How they do that I don’t know they just do.

Moms, never leave their young, even after they leave her.  Moms are there every second and minute and year and lifetime for their children.  For their effort, Moms are given extra special stuff to enable them to survive.  Moms have extra sensitive hearing (for the absence of sound as well) that can cut through any noise filled clutter to hear their child’s voice.  To hear a cry or worse a scream sets them running to their child’s aid. Moms also have eyes in the back of their head.  And those eyes too can weep when they in secret observe their babies.  To watch a mom watch their child when neither knows they are being watched is to see human drama.  A drama that is a never-ending cycle where Moms endure countless tears and pain and grief, that can be just as easily erased with the slightest of smiles from their baby.

Being a mother, I think changes things for a woman.  Not just biologically, but psychologically and spiritually too. It’s not that they forget how to maintain their careers, or balance some combination of motherhood, wage earner, and mate.  It’s just that before any of those things that she may really want and cherish and need and deserve, can be enjoyed, there are the kids.  First and foremost, and forever.

Not being a mom, I can’t really know what they think.  Why they are the biggest dichotomy in the world for providing both pain and pleasure.  Why they never give up the battle to keep their child safe and happy, no matter what age or marital status. Why for each of us, our own Mother made real magic.

This Mother’s Day remember the magic.  Remember the mom that made you believe that anything was possible.  Made you believe in yourself.  And made you understand that life is more than simply living, it is creating.  Thank her for the chance to create your own destiny.  Thank her for being there, every day.

For me there are many Moms in my life that have made it extra special: The Mother of my sons, the Mothers of my Grandsons and my Mother, Momma Z. Mom, I’m living the life you always wanted me to.  You were right.  I do love it. I miss you. Happy Mother’s Day.

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 Today’s Szenippet: The main thing that mother’s want is for their children to be happy. So, what are you waiting for?