Waitless

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Waitless

Have you ever thought about the amount of time that we spend waiting? The time we spend waiting for things like a plane, a phone call, a return text or an upcoming event like a graduation or wedding can really add up. Where did all of that time spent waiting go? How much was wasted on meaningless activities designed to help us pass the time so that we could get to that future moment? What if we had all of that time returned to us? What then?

Unfortunately, there is no pause button in life. Unlike a TIVO setting, our lives can’t be stopped and then restarted on demand. Whether we’re wasting time or spending it wisely, time is not waiting for us.

In certain philosophies like Tao and Zen, there is no waiting, because this moment is all there is. Being in the moment is being free of the need to wait for anything. It’s all already here, now; we’re really all “Waitless”. So the question is, now that we know that we can’t stop time, how do we plan on using the time we have?

There is a trick to all of this, and it has to do with how we think and our own individual perspectives. It seems that our mind has known all along that it has the power to change our lives with a single thought. The amazing thing is that we get to choose that thought. And when our thinking is clear in sync with our values and goals we’re rewarded with glorious moments where we feel so alive that it seems that time actually does stop.

So how do we create more of those being alive moments? Here are some thoughts:

Meditate: Just take a few moments and breath in and out slowly. Clear your mind of everything. This is how eastern religions clear their mind of future and past and keep the “monkey mind” at bay. Just concentrating on your breath teaches you how to stay present.

Take notice: If we can change our thinking to a new reality that states, “there is no down time, or waiting” we can free up those moments to dwell and visualize on our desired destiny. Regardless of whatever else may be going on in our lives, there is always enough mind space and time to hold a dream. And dreams can trump worry, which is a whole other chapter on what keeps us from enjoying the moment.

Take action: The best and maybe only way to create what we want is to know what we want and then move toward it. Do something. A small step, a note, a call, anything that gets us closer is good. A good way to start is to do research on the Internet for the words that you have identified are related to your vision.

Live now: Leave the vision switch on when it comes to daily encounters with other things. It helps us stay in a self-empowered mode and it becomes easier to stay focused and not so stymied by the pull of the outside world. And over time, you may discover that the world is also influenced by our thoughts as well. It’s all in how we see it that matters. And that individual, unique, self-realized view that is ours alone is created from the “Waitless” world we live in – the here and the now.

Final Thought: Whatever happens to you, it’s what you do with it that counts.

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

Faith vs. Fear

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Faith vs. Fear

A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

Boris was frustrated with his own word choices. The message had to be just right, but he wasn’t feeling the flow. Every time he read it, he changed something and that change created more questions. What should have been a simple email invitation for coffee was becoming complicated. Although he feared she might reject his offer, he hit “send” anyway.

And more…

Fear is something that holds all of us back from time to time. And after a while the fear that kept us from acting on something, like asking someone a question, or trying a new path, eventually grows into a regret. The regret is placed nicely into our memory bank and every once in a while, pops up in the present to remind us of what might have been. Some regrets are debilitating and can steal away our sense of self-worth, as well as our faith in ourselves and hold us back from new opportunities.

There are two ways to help overcome fear and eliminate regrets. The first is to practice feeling courage in our decisions. Yes, we might fail, but that’s just an outcome and it’s how we learn. The more we control our fear of failing, the more we will succeed and gain from the experience. As Nelson Mandella famously said: “I never lose. Either I win or I learn.”

The other way to overcome regrets is to not create them in the first place and do what Boris did… Have faith. Go for it. Then you know.

Final Thought: We never know until we try is the battle cry of all positive change.

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

Last Chances

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Last Chances

A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

Robert fumbled for his key, cursing the darkness. She would have to believe that he intended to be there, but everything was going wrong and now in the 11th hour he panicked and prayed. Would she wait? She said this was his last chance. Just then the key found his hand. He hit the gas…” Hang on Angel, I’m coming…”

And more…

So often we begin with positive and purposeful intentions, but sometimes circumstances don’t cooperate. And as much as we truly desire and pray for a particular outcome, obstacles can appear out of nowhere that can stymie us. It then becomes a matter of will and desire. How much do we want what we seek, and what price will we pay? In many of our wishes, the “things” we want do have a price tag. We weigh the decision and either write the check or not, knowing that there will be new and different choices later. In matters of the heart however, it’s not so simple.

The intangibles of our life, like joy and peace and love etc. cannot be bought and sold. They can only be given and received. We can’t really own any of it, but we can enjoy the experience and make decisions and take actions that put us in the right spots at the right time to feel the power of affection and appreciation. Sometimes these “spots” can be lifetimes or momentary encounters, and they always have the potential to shift. In matters of the heart we may think we’ve arrived and are okay just where we stand, but when the floor beneath us still moves we can find the shakiness unnerving as that “sweet spot” of love has not quite settled. It’s somehow retreated, resigned or been removed.

When left behind and alone we freeze with fear and of loss. We believe it was our last chance. We wrongly think that there are no more chances left. We fail to see the cycle of how peace and joy and all of the feelings of living in a state of hope, and the now, still remain. We might panic and fumble to find the key, but we will find it and we’ll be right where we intended to be, and like Robert, we discover that it’s never too late to take another chance and hit the gas to take us exactly where we always wanted to be.

Final Thought:  The destination we seek resides in our hearts where our internal GPS is locked in.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

 

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

Letting Go of Expectations

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 Letting Go of Expectations

 The great thing about having a hopeful heart is that we can see the potential in anything we choose. We get to pick whatever want to believe and to choose to have faith in that belief. We especially get to hold on to even the slightest of chances, as if the results we seek were imminent. As long as an idea or dream or potential “deal” has even a flicker of life, we have the power to hold onto its possibilities.

Waiting for an approval or even a response to a proposal, be it business or personal, can weigh heavily on us until we can resolve an outcome. Sometimes things that we have failed to achieve linger in our psyche like a nagging allergy that clogs our mind and limits our clarity. We may suspect that what we seek may not happen, but until we admit it, we enjoy the thought that there is still a chance.

If we have too many ongoing possibilities to hold onto, it’s important that we find a way let go of the least likely scenarios. Oprah will not call. The mere act of letting go will free some mind space and simultaneously open the door for some new options. In many cases, the releasing or letting go of the need for a predetermined outcome for a situation is exactly what’s needed to bring it closer to reality. In other words, trying to orchestrate exactly how we want our dreams to unfold is a recipe for regret. Yes, I want a best-selling book but there are myriad ways to get there besides a call from Oprah.

Dreams should be about the desired outcome, not the process to get there, because that’s when worry sets in. By focusing on the goal, we lighten our load and transcend the worry state – we begin to see that we cannot manipulate events and people just by wishing for things to go our way. When we take the pressure off of ourselves from trying to control how we want everything to happen, we turn off the worry button. That simple act opens a new flow of positive imagination – A place where new dreams can form and where the possibilities are truly endless.

Final Thought: The best way to dream is to not worry about how it may come true.

 

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

The Human Baton

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The Human Baton

Sharing the Language of Joy

 A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

Elaine stopped at the light and glanced at her rearview mirror to witness a young woman in the car behind her bouncing in her seat, arms flailing about. Although Elaine couldn’t hear anything, it appeared by the way her mouth moved that she was singing. It made her smile. Next light, Elaine burst into song delighting the driver just ahead.

And more…

 I think it’s amazing how contagious certain actions can become. A smile, frown, and a yawn evoke a sameness in response. All that we do, be it at home, work, or play is observed by others and how we go about what we do sends a signal to all that observe. And these signals don’t have to have any verbal cues for a telling message to be sent on how we’re feeling.

The ability to understand the relationship between verbal and non-verbal communication is a gift we all possess. We all can tell when our team feels defeated even though they are still shouting encouragement to each other. The body language never lies. And in the same way if someone is asking you to trust them, but can’t look you straight in the eye, it’s a sign to be wary.

I share all of this because this gift we have is great on the receiving end. But if we use it as a way to send it’s even more powerful. Like our friend Elaine, who by simply observing someone, having fun in the moment with a song, was able to apply the “feeling” and keep the chain going.

I suggest we consider the impact we can have by simply changing our demeanor, facial expression and energy level to impart something positive to another. Try it at work, or at home with the kids. Take a routine and “jazz” it up a bit. I’ll bet you’ll not only get noticed, but you’ll also get connected and possibly be able to pass the human baton of good feelings to someone that could really use it and who will pass it on as well. Let me know how it goes.

Final Thought: What’s in our heart always bubbles up to influence the way we act, look and are perceived. There is no denying its power or promise to turn any moment into a new journey.

 

 

 

 

What If?

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What If?

A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

“There is this event coming up soon”, she started, “actually it’s upon us, and I was wondering if maybe, you would like ummm, well I mean…, if I were to ask you, hypothetically speaking, to go with me to this event, what would you say?” “Yes of course.” I replied. “Hey not so fast!” She blurted. “Nobody’s asked you yet.”

And more…

Wouldn’t it be nice to know the answer to every question we ask before we ask it?  Isn’t it true that we can find ourselves in situations where the answer we seek will not be found and we become afraid of what the real answer will be? Don’t we sometimes even pass altogether on asking because we can’t bear the possibility of rejection or maybe, like the story above, the possibility of acceptance?

Asking questions is the purest form of being assertive, curious and to some extent fearless. When we confront an issue and rely on another to give us an answer, we take a chance on getting a response we won’t like. And we also close the gaps in communication and replace questions with knowledge. If we don’t ask, we won’t know for sure, and then we’ll be left filling in our own answers that become our default beliefs. If we follow this logically for only a few more consecutive questions, based on our own assumptions, we could easily find ourselves in a communications quagmire – a place of misinformation and speculation.

On the other hand, if we ask clearly, we will know and maybe even receive. It seems so easy, but it can be tough to do, especially when the other person has some authority or power over us, like a parent or a boss. The key is to remind ourselves that we can always make better decisions when we’re dealing with the facts. Knowledge is power and asking directly for what we want, or need will actually put us in the driver’s seat. In assertiveness training, we learn to ask even the hard questions. The more we take responsibility to ask, the easier it gets and the more we learn. It’s simple: If you don’t ask, you won’t know. “When’s that event again?”

Final Thought: “Ask and you shall receive” is always true even if we don’t like what we get.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

 

 

Point of Contact

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Point of Contact

I subscribe to a belief that nothing is in isolation. Everything and everybody are connected somehow and that every, or even any, action causes a ripple in events and circumstances that generates the potential for lasting change. Sometimes even the most casual gesture like a smile can transform a person’s entire day. A frown works the same way. There have been many books on this concept.

Armed with this simple truth of being able to make an impact on literally everyone we meet, it seems that more people would be reacting more often to whatever signal we’re sending, and they would consequently be sending us a return signal. After all, we all share the same software, but for some reason, not all that many “connections” really take hold. Is it that we’re happy with the connections we already have, or are we trying to avoid the burden of letting someone new into our space? I don’t know.

Sometimes we choose to have our antenna down and imagine that we are neither sending nor receiving. But in reality, being in the off mode is sending a signal. And it’s just as true that when we’re in the “on” mode ourselves, we recognize the “off” mode in others and back off, (unless we’re in sales).

The point is that the opportunities to make contact, to have impact, to change dispositions and to make real and meaningful connections are available to all of us, all the time. All we need is the smile on our face to start and we can join in any time we choose, like now. : )

Final Thought: No touch goes unfelt.

For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

 

Creating Wisdom

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 Creating Wisdom

A Sixty-Word Short Story: *

No one could tell Jonathan anything. He knew it all, and let you know it when he was in your presence. He was always the smartest person in the room; even if we knew he wasn’t, he acted like he was. He was the boss, and he had all of the answers, except when it came to his own feelings.

And more…

Knowledge has quite a bandwidth. There is so much that we can know and categorize and memorize and build upon because, as we learn, we add to our perspective. We merge the new facts with the old and we temper the process with experience, context and intuition. The net result is intellectual growth, and it’s often translated into success based on the formula of the more we know, the more we can achieve.

Emotional growth however is not so simple. Emotions are not easily separated and distinct. Anger, fear, love, greed etc.- all of the primary emotional possibilities exist in partnership with and are intermingled with other emotions as well as facts.  Anger has a reason it appears and so does love, fear and the rest. And unlike intellectual growth, which allows us to build on what we learn, emotional growth can be elusive, and hence there are folks like Jonathan that know it all but somehow don’t “get it.” They seem to lack the emotional empathy needed to grow.

We’re all on a learning curve to somehow create balance between the what’s that we learn and the how it makes us feel when we do. A combination of both helps us translate life’s many challenges so we can understand “why.” Knowing why we are who we are, and do what we do, gives us the emotional leverage we need to truly succeed. Where the smarts meets the heart. That’s where true wisdom forms. And from there the possibilities are endless.

Final Thought: When we meld the facts of our lives with our feelings about those facts we can emerge into a new realm, where perspective, context and insight collectively yield power. It’s called wisdom.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

 

 

Welcome to Summer

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Welcome to Summer

This week on Friday we celebrate the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. I hope whatever you choose to do with the extra daylight is fun. If you’re a sun worshiper this is definitely the glass half full version of the year. I hate to be a spoiler but from here on out, the days will get shorter and shrink until the Winter Solstice arrives and we start back the other way.

The thing is,…the hours don’t change at all although I understand there will be a small recalibration of the official atomic clock very soon to make up for the extra slowing of the earth. Still though, it will pretty much be 24 hours per day as always. The environment may cause us to see and appreciate the day tomorrow differently than a winter’s day or even yesterday because as we all know, time is relative. The way the day unfolds and refolds can change our perception on how long it took. The things we do and the people we encounter can also change our point of view on time. As a rule, it seems good times travel fast, and bad times tend to drag.

So, it seems appropriate to wish all of you the best, longest day ever. Enjoy.
What Would Dad Do?

It’s also Father’s Day here in the United States and I’m betting many dads and kids are exploiting the sunshine with games and cookouts and such. Here’s a short piece on Dads, I wrote several years ago.

What would Dad do if he were I?
Would he pick the gift card or the tie?

Would he want the poignant Hallmark card?
Or just hang out with us kids in the yard.

Would some peace and quiet be on his mind?
Or some new cologne, I don’t know which kind.

I happen to think that most dads really don’t care.
They just want some time that they can share.

They’re happy to be with their children this day.
And they really do need it, no matter what they say.

Final Thought: A Dad’s joy on celebrating Father’s Day is directly proportional to the joy his children bring to the celebration.

For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected] © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly. Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

Press Pause

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Press Pause

A Sixty-Word Short Story*:

Arthur, please don’t call me Art, typically saw the world through a half-empty glass. He had trained himself to believe that most people do not keep their promises and based on the many times he had felt misled, he was angrily responding to a date-cancelling text. Another let down he thought, but intuitively he paused. Then he changed his mind.

And more…

A strategically placed pause in our thinking is like taking a time out in sports during a close game. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath and let some fresh oxygen seep into our brain. For Arthur, in our story, he was able to hit “pause” before he texted something he might regret. Of course we don’t know for sure what happened next for Arthur, but the extra moment and time taken to consider his options gave him a chance to rethink his reaction. And like letting a steak sit after cooking for a few minutes to allow the juices to circulate, I like to believe that he got it right.

In today’s fast moving digital communications world we live in, reaction time has become shortened and squeezed out of the conversation. There is a tendency to respond and clear the inbox immediately and sometimes without a real thought about the repercussions. We communicate in a terse, emoji-based language that masquerades as thoughtful dialogue. Yes, it’s easy and fast to connect with folks but often it can be shallow, misunderstood, or simply wrong, especially if we’re just reacting and not thinking about whether we got it right.

“The Pause that Refreshes” was a theme for a Coca Cola campaign (circa 1929) which ran for 30 years. It was a universal reminder over three decades that we all might find clarity and perspective with a brief break, even if it’s in just a nick of time. By inserting a pause in the communications process before we react, whether we sip a coke or some water or we set aside a decision for a sec, we give ourselves a chance to reboot and refresh our thinking; a chance to get it right.

Final Thought: There is always time to redo something if we get it wrong, but with a simple pause we may just get it right the first time.

* The Premise: Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.