Perspective Creates Joy

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Perspective Creates Joy

A Sixty-Word SZEN Story*:

The joy was fading. She was working long hours every day and Bill was charged with taking care of the house. This meant cooking the meals too. Every night he served her dinner and cleaned up while she took her bath. He began to resent his role. How did we get to this place, how can this change, he wondered.

And more…

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a role or a place or in a time that feels like we’ll never escape or be able to change the situation. According to the Book of Joy co-authored by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu there are eight pillars of joy. The very first one is perspective. The book says: “A healthy perspective really is the foundation for joy and happiness because the way we see the world is the way we experience the world.” Thus, changing the way we see things, in turn changes the way we feel and the way we act which changes the world itself.

In our story, Bill is locked into a routine where he feels stifled and out of sorts. Joy is elusive and Bill wonders how it can change. According to the book, the answer is that “we cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.” In other words, acceptance is an important component of perspective and allows us to relax and to see more clearly before we respond. And since reality only exists in the present, our ability to stay in the moment becomes our superpower. This enables us to acknowledge the situation we’re in while we look for the insight that changes how we view the situation.

Our minds are powerful, and our perspective directly impacts the joy we feel in life. Perspective helps us understand what is and our role in that reality. It also can change how we choose to view it. And that’s where joy can find its way into our life.

* Always 60 words. No more, no less.

Szenippet: The difference between an empty room and a room full of space is based on how we see our world, our perspective.

 

 

The Power to Choose

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The Power to Choose

A Sixty-Word SZEN Story*:

The name of the article that Bob was quoting from was “Truth and Consequences.” It was written by a famous self-help guru who taught his followers that success is totally possible, but it always has a price. It’s just that most people choose not to pay it.” Bob’s interpretation was simple: People want happiness for free, but it never is.

And more…

We, as a society, have become excellent shoppers. The internet opens our eyes to infinite possibilities. We can pick and choose and ultimately buy virtually anything we want as long as we can meet the price. This formula is easy to understand and considerably simplified when it comes to using the currency DuJour. It’s more complicated however when money alone can’t buy our dreams. According to American psychotherapist Sheldon B. Kopp, people are afraid to make difficult choices because of their current circumstances but he asserts: “You’re pretty much free to do whatever you like. You need only face the circumstances.”

This is about choices – The freedom to choose what we want and being willing to pay the price to get there versus talking ourselves out of a particular decision for fear of the repercussions. The philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre observed that there’s a secret comfort in telling ourselves we have no options rather than to face the consequences. Like Bob in our story today, he understood that essentially, there are always choices but they’re not free. The expressions, “pay the piper,” “no free lunch,” and “everything has a price,” are born from this sentiment.

We live in a reality where both time is precious, and our choices are infinite. Reconciling how to invest the time we have to achieve what we want is only a matter of trade-offs. This is where many people get stymied. Even if we see a path to a good option, what we have and where we are right now feels good and it’s so easy to stay there. In this framework, status quo becomes the default choice fueled by our own rationalizations and bias. That being said, the answer to breaking free of any situation we’re in, is to visualize a new situation and envision its manifestation. Then move toward it. Yes, there will be tolls and energy to spend on the way there but as long as we are prepared to face the consequences we will arrive where we always wanted to be.

* Always 60 words. No more, no less.

Szenippet: We live by the stories we tell ourselves and nothing new happens until we change up the characters, or scenery and dialogue in our story. Begin with a happy ending point-of-view and move toward it.