Archive for category: Positive Change

 Over Thinking

A Sixty-Word Short Story:

Jeff had checked off all of the right boxes, so it seemed for Sally, but she was still not sure about what her future with him might be like. She considered his age, health and overall disposition and point of view on life. They agreed on so many things, but still she ruminated on the “what ifs” and walked away.

And more…

All of us have faced a decision once in a while where we thought and thought and thought some more about our choices – sometimes to the point of so worrying about the outcome and possibly making a wrong decision about the future, that we ignored what was happening in the now, forgetting what we were originally attracted to. Like Sally in our story, we imagine a future fork in the road and therefore choose to get off of the path altogether. In essence we mentally manufacture a scenario based on imagination which may or may not be true or ever happen at all.

In these situations, it’s very human to rationalize that our mental makeshift story, like Sally’s, portends potential harm, or discomfort, so we walk away. But what if we get it wrong? What if we talk ourselves out of a good outcome because of some unfounded speculation that somewhere down the road this might be a bad decision? The answer is simple: nothing. Put another way, the things that we decided against are quickly forgotten and we move on. However, sometimes – rarely for some and common for others – we feel regret because we’ve thought ourselves out of an opportunity and only later do we feel its sting.

In life there will always be some regrets, which fall into two categories: One covers those experiences where we tried and failed and the other is where we didn’t try at all. The latter is the harder to live with because we literally don’t know what might have happened. At least if we tried and failed, we did something and can gain solace in the effort. Whereas not trying nets nothing. The point being is that we have the ability to over think, rationalize and worry ourselves right out of a good outcome. But consider this, like in our story with Sally, if the choice is not so absolutely clear and we have some doubts, we may be missing an opportunity of a lifetime; or not.

The Final Thought: Decision making is best when the choices are completely clear and inevitable. If not, perhaps we need to know more and taking a chance might be our best option.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

 

Destiny Awaits

Three Things to Know Before You Go

On the path to our own future, we have the options and chances to change direction, make a turn, change our course or modify the destination. Or we can just stop in our tracks and wait to see what happens next. I suggest we use our free will and nix the waiting game option. Waiting is only fun when we are anticipating something good is about to happen. Like the fox in the Little Prince who totally loved the idea of waiting for his friend and found great joy in the anticipation of seeing him versus not knowing. Ultimately, we can’t know everything and change, of course, is a primary constant of life, but with some foresight, conviction, and a dash of faith we can start to see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Here are a couple of ideas that might help the journey along:

– Look forward. Destiny does not occur in the past tense and neither will the rest of our lives. Dwelling in the past diminishes our view of the future. The past might provide some hints or tools, but it’s still up to us to set the course from here.

– Dream the big dream. Setting off to our future is often the path to what we’ve already witnessed. When we craft our course based on what we believe we can actually accomplish it usually includes a lot of what’s already happened (see above). I’m not planning adverse but why limit ourselves before we even get started.

– Last and certainly not the least: Move toward the dream. Once we lock in we need to move. Take action as if your dream is imminent. If we immerse ourselves in the belief that our dream is actually happening, we create the energy we need, and we invite others to also believe. Recruiting others attracts like-minded believers and the collective energy generated can catapult us to our destiny in high fashion.

May your dreams and the path you choose bring to life that which you seek. And we all must seek until we find. Safe travels.

The Final Thought: When setting our destination be mindful that there may be more than one way to get there. So let those unforeseen ways emerge and rest assured they will provide the wind to our sails that we seek.

Szenzone – Stories of life and the power to change yours – is sent via email by request and is published weekly or thereabouts. For back issues or to receive this publication directly please email [email protected]  © Gary Szenderski 2025 All Rights Reserved. Gary is an author, branding specialist and teaches at the University of California in Irvine. He specializes in helping people and organizations navigate change – if you or your company needs assistance contact Gary directly.  Gary resides in Southern California and welcomes your comments.

 

 

Seeds of Dreams

How We Think, Changes Everything

A Sixty-Word Short Story:

Carla was obsessing about getting this job. On paper she was a perfect fit, so why was she having to endure a gauntlet of interviews. One after the other ended with “We’ll get back to you.” And then she would wait thinking that they’ll never call back, but they did – 8 times. What was wrong she wondered? Her thinking was.

 And more…

 Whenever we have a situation that doesn’t add up, where we know our strengths but we’re unable to capitalize – like the interview process for Carla, where the resume’ was solid but she could not close the deal – we begin to doubt ourselves. And once doubt creeps into our minds, its insidious power dismantles our confidence, and we tend to grasp at straws and become willing to believe anything that offers hope in our situation. This is the recipe for failure. Self-confidence is the fuel we all need to succeed and when it’s missing, we stumble.

When we believe we can do it we tend to do it. If we don’t believe it, not so much. That’s because our personal beliefs drive our decisions and they fuel our actions. The problem with beliefs however is that they can be both rigid and changeful, and we often don’t recognize how empowering or how debilitating they can be. Beliefs are the source of dreams that come true but can also fuel the bugaboos of life. In essence, beliefs are the seeds of all we become.

Our personal beliefs are the fabric of our own unique mosaic. Some beliefs float consciously to the surface while others are buried deep within our psyche. Our challenge, like Carla, is to align what we know is true for us to the reality we’ve created for ourselves. Although she knew she was qualified, the interview process raised some doubt to the point she began to question herself and thus projected an unsettling image which fueled concern for the would-be employer. When she lost confidence so did they. Net result, nobody wins.

The lesson here is that we always have the power to change what we think, which helps us change what we believe, which translates into changing our lives. This process creates self-awareness which defines exactly who we are and also opens the door to whoever we want to become. When how we appear is truly who we are, we always win.

The Final Thought: Improving our lives only happens when we change our beliefs about ourselves and the transformation begins by simply changing what we think.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

On Edge

A Sixty-Word Short Story:

“Cut!” shouted the director. “Listen Charles, you have to relax and not think about the whole scene, just this moment and your line. You know your line, right?” Charles nodded. “Then say it for us!” Charles looked around the room. People, equipment and so much tension in the air were making him nervous, then “Don’t touch that door!” he screamed.

 And more…

 Life can dish up some tension (another name for stress) now and then. It can be a business situation, a family disagreement, a phone call with the IRS or simply being cut off on the freeway. Tension is our way of metabolizing the moment. We need tension to feel the event in order to be able to react. Tension, creates emotional currency, and is a bridge from routine to something else. It enables us to call upon our senses and wits to act. And whatever the act may be that we’re called on to do, it is propelled by the tension, pressure and sometimes the fear we feel in that split second when we know we must do something.

Tension works because it’s a way to get us poised for action. Being on the edge is typically something most of us would prefer to avoid, but the emotions inherent in tension can get us revved and ready for whatever happens next. Without it, the greatness of so many decisions in our lives would be forgotten. The tension of the situation is what makes for great stories – time running out and he shoots and scores, she bends over to grab his hand and accepts his proposal, the phone rings and we got the job. You name it and I bet the best stories of our lives included some angst, fear and doubt, the siblings of tension and what makes living on the edge worth it.

I think without some emotion, be it fear or doubt or love or whatever in our routine we avoid the edge and thus miss out on some of the fun of life. If we push ourselves and open the door to possibilities, even a little every day, we live more. We make better stories – Stories worth telling.

The Final Thought: A shift from a “how are you doing?” to a “how are you feeling?” orientation reveals a deeper dimension of connectedness: Feelings uncovered always change the conversation.

* The Premise (Opening short story): Always 60 words. No more. No Less. For more stories like this and information about my books, please visit www.szenzone.com

 

S

Have you ever noticed that some things just happen while others take their sweet old time before they gestate completely? The speed of completion is often correlated to the speed of the decision to make it happen. Correction, not “often”, but rather always correlated to how fast we actually act on something. The sooner we decide, the sooner that decision can take shape.

What keeps us from living in a “snap of our fingers” and stuff just happens world is that we can’t snap until we feel sure. Thinking things through is exclusively a human trait. The rest of the species on the planet just “do” what seems natural. And as a reminder, when we all were children we had this very same innate quality built into our psyche. We just showed up for life and life just happened. The days were filled with discovery, wonder, joy and some occasional pain but none of these feelings ever lasted that long because the next thing to happen took its place. We would spend the days living every moment with vigor until we ran out gas and fell into one of those deep and replenishing sleeps that seems all too rare now as adults.

As adults it’s not that simple to just “be.” We have to be doing something or be going somewhere or be thinking about what the next thing to be will be. The whole process has become time consuming and fraught with way too many options than ever ever before. Decisions now take more time and have to yield positive return, hence we fret and analyze and kick the can down the road until we’re absolutely okay with making the right judgment call. While all of this is taking place, the world at large is charging ahead – and we all struggle to keep up if we can.

Becoming, the act of transformation, is a form of creation. We actually create or recreate ourselves as we choose and with total control of the outcome. The real art of becoming what we choose to become has less to do with our actual goal and everything to do with our belief that we can get there. Confidence, self-assuredness, faith, call it what you will, is what really moves those mountains, and can move obstacles from our path and rally the support of legions of followers and believers. Becoming is a gift that we get to use over and over again because we all are endowed with the ability to create; we were created in the image and likeness of the Creator; It’s in our DNA. Here are a couple of thoughts on tapping into our true potential:

1. Visualize your dream without the thought process of how to get there. Don’t worry about how, just concentrate about what you seek and the “hows” will take care of themselves.
2. Remember that you are worthy of whatever dream you create.
3. Sometimes you might want to put #2 ahead of #1.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help from others. Your asking may fuel and be part of what another wishes to become.

The Final Thought: The way the world moves is a reflection on how we all move and think. Every thought from every person impacts what is and becomes part of the whole